The River Grey

I have a SLF named Danielle. She hit me like a ton of bricks…… she read that I was torn up by the last blog post and found a way for me to go see my father. I need to publicly (or rather to my 2 1/2 readers) say that I am forever in her debt. She is such a thoughtful generous person and I am damn lucky to have her in my life. She is there when I need to laugh/cry/vent and is always thinking of solutions to things that seem impossible. The fact that she is hot is only icing on the cake Thank you Danielle.

This makes me think more about generosity. When I was thanking her like crazy she said to me “I know you don’t believe in karma but you do a lot for other people and you should get something back”….. later I related that to MNM and he put a new spin on “karma” for me. He said that he thinks karma is more like being in someone’s mind because you have done for them or for people. He thought that if you were the type of person that does for others people will be more inclined to do for you. I like this. This is a belief that I can get behind.

This weekend I also attended a lovely friend’s mother blessing. I was listening to a poem that one of the ladies was reading and watching the room (with an exception) cry. It made me think about why I wasn’t crying and why they would want me around. I am a pretty emotionally reserved person and feel a litte out of my element around highly emotional women. I want to study them. Don’t get me wrong…. I know how to behave myself. I won’t crack up at your funeral or anything like that… I just wonder why I don’t feel what you feel. Or rather HOW you feel. Maybe some of us were just born with non crying brains. Or it could be that we non emotionals are actually robots.

We also had our yearly photo shoot with the uber talented Amy. I am excited to see how they turned out. I love having my picture taken by her and I never enjoy having my picture taken. With some sort of elvin fairy magic she makes us look pretty…… probably photo shopping

My father (Ray for those keeping score) just called to say that his mother passed. I am sad about this. You see, I never did get to meet her. I have this whole huge family that has been kept from me my whole life. Now another part of it will never be seen by me. I need to make this a priority. I do need to see where I come from.  More later as I process.

Well thanks for all the compliments and especially for the tips.. Riv will be with bio dad this weekend so I am going to see what I can do with what I am working with. It is supposed to be a hot one this weekend so we will have plenty of inside hours to kill

I am deep in preserving mode. I have made my strawberry jam and put away 2 qts of kale for the winter. We are going camping for the 4th so the weekend after that will be raspberries and blackberries for more jam. I am hoping to find some pickling cukes to make pickles this weekend but we will see. Then after that it is tomato time. I want to at least make my own pasta sauce and then just stew the rest. I can’t wait!

I am having some issues with all the food work. Feel a little like a hoarder (which if I have ever told you about the house I grew up in you would totally understand) I am working on the difference between being prepared and having my house look either like a fall out shelter or sanford and sons.

The great moving debate is still in full swing. MNM wants to put the house on the market in September and I think I am with him. I only worry about where we will go IF the house sells and if I will make it through the selling process. I hate selling things. I loathe putting a value on something that is mine and having people tell me what they think of said value. But I need to remember that this is not about me it is about the house. It is about the house. It is about the house.

Other than allll that unschooling is going well. We may even someday make it to a get together. River is continuing her French lessons and she is enjoying some workbook pages. We are still having a hard time with her interest in reading but it will get better I am sure. Greyson found gold in the back yard and is continuing his middle east peace talks.

later!

So, the other day my SLF and I were talking about naughty underclothes and I came to the realization that I feel (and look) far too frumpy for my own good. So, how do you all do it? How do you tap into your inner sex goddess? I need to reclaim that part of me that seems to have long gone underground.

Dear Oregon…

I see yet again you have geared up to kill me and I would like to know what the hell is up with that?? I have been kind to you this year. I have planted cherries and blueberries and flowers in your soil (your GHETTO soil no less) In return you have thrown the worst allergies ever at me. My eyes are so swollen and itchy it makes it hard to even type this. Now,  I have committed myself to you for at least another year please please be the gracious state that I think you can be and call off the evil allergen empire for me.

please?

I can bake you know.

I know you won’t be bribed.

That was cheap of me, sorry.

I love you……….

Create your own family sticker graphic at pYzam.com

Hee heee thank you Lee and Karen!

I saw this on AH and thought it was very very interesting……locavore
What do you think?

I am taking a nice looong break from MDC. I can’t handle the negativity on my local thread right now. Not to say that I think people need to be positive all the time but being negative all the time is freakin annoying. So…. I leave there with a message to my friends

Don’t you…..

I know you feel like I have forgotten you dear sweet blog but alas I am here. Life has been in motion………………… yeah duh, I know. Riv is an official unschooler now. She had her last day a week and a half ago and things are going well. We are learning french and knitting and baking bread. Grey is going through the beginning of we are calling the asshole phase of toddlerhood. Lots of pinching biting and eye poking (sorry george) lots of screaming and running away and throwing. We will get through this. It is nice to have some mama friends that totally understand *coughbreanacough*

I got to see my special ladyfriend 2 weeks in a row! It makes me so happy and calm to be around her. I don’t think she even knows how much our little time hanging out has improved my mood. She and my ‘food lovah’ have been so awesome with my recent mental health woes and uckfayed money situation. I love you guys! Oh little man is up…more later…

No new sink.

No paint.

No 4th of July.

No kids clothes.

No kitchen makeover.

No summer camp.

No escape.

Maybe no August.

Probably no September.

Don’t ask why.

There seems to be a light…… or a train…… either way there is a change coming.

The theme for this Thursday is things that have made me smile in the past few weeks..

1. Riv and Grey discovering the moths around the lightbulb and Riv saying to Grey…”don’t worry I will protect you”.

2. Water falls…little toes…..goggles….playing hookie.

3. Gelato.

4. Air conditioners and MNMs understanding that I neeed it.

5. Italian soda…foot baths… and laughing with my girls.

6. Still feeling like an imposition on everyone who will agree to be around me but caring a little less if they are doing it through gritted teeth.

7. Hand knit washcloths.

8. Salads and farmers markets.

9. Riv deciding to home school next year.

10. Sweet words of encouragement from my lady friend(s)

11. Drunk Eric

12.  Dancing Greyson

13.  Singing Velvet Underground and Cure songs with my sweet Riv.