Music:

Wild Flag – Romance from Merge Records on Vimeo.

Food: Breakfast: Vegan banana waffles

Lunch: skipped (d’oh)

Dinner: Vegan chili with cornbread

Mood: Sad. Life is changing and my usual initial reaction is sadness.

I dislike my depression.

I have depression. It comes up when I “should” be something. It comes up as envy. It comes up and robs me of things that I would love to enjoy. It makes me feel weak and like a whiny ass bitch. I really dislike having depression.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

I love my sense of humor. I think I can be pretty funny. I crack my kids up all the time. That is pretty awesome. If you can’t laugh  then life is going to seem a lot longer than you’d like it to.

Day 03 → Something you want to forgive yourself for.

Not a week goes by that I don’t punish myself for not being stronger and finishing high school like everyone else. You see, I had just finished being homeless and I had to find a place to live and a job and everything normal people worry about when they are exiting college in their 20s. I got to face all of that at 16. I went on to get the ol good enough diploma but I deeply regret not being able to keep it all together to graduate with all of my friends.

Day 04 → Something you want to forgive someone for.

I need to forgive my mother. A little back story… growing up I never knew my father. Thought he rejected me (HELLO man issues) finally met him. Turns out the story I was told wasn’t exactly the truth. I know there is no TRUTH but this was a little more than just a he said/she said.

My mom did the best that she could with what she thought was the truth.  I can’t imagine what it was like for her. I can’t judge her for the choices she already made. We just can move on from now.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Drive. I hope to someday drive.

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Dumb ass question. I am a parent. I must go before my children.

Day 07 → Someone who has contributed to your life in a meaningful way.

There are a lot of people for this one.

Mary: for saving me when I was too young to save myself.

Dan: for River

Lisa: for understanding beyond belief

Tom: for showing me how to be a mother.

River: for showing me how to be a mother.

Grey: for showing me how to be a mother.

Tyler: for actually meaning that you will stand behind me.

Emily: for lighting that spark

Amanda: for taking the journey with me

Day 08 → Someone who made your life more difficult, or treated you poorly.

I dated a man. He stalked me. It was awful.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Mary. I miss you every day.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

I will not name names. I am getting there.

Day 11 → Something about which people seem to compliment you the most.

My ability to add fire to sugar and make sweet magic. Often I get complimented on my parenting but I have a hard time taking that in. I know I make kick ass cupcakes and marshmallows… no clue how my kids are going to turn out. I will just keep on going and trying my best on both fronts.

Day 12 → Something about which you never get compliments.

My spelling and grammar. It is just wicked awful. I am very embarrassed about both. In my head and verbally, I seem a lot more intelligent than I do written.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.

Tool on angry days. Ani on femmie days. Tori on reflective days. Tom and Elliott on gray days.

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down.

My dad. Let me down big time. Kicked out of the nest far too young.

I learned a lot from it. I learned to survive. Sometimes survival is not pretty.

We have mended our relationship. He is a different man now and I love the Dad that he is today.

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

There is nothing aside from food and water that I can not live without.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

I could live without meat. I often think it is gross. I often have it anyway. I could totally live without it.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

It would probably be Eating Animals. Totally changed my views on factory farmed meat.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

Marriage is an institution. If you want to be institutionalized by all means go right ahead.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion?

Well, I am supposed to be honest here. I think religion is the biggest killer of people there has ever been. I think it is a tool that has been used to keep down women and minorities and the “weak” for centuries. I think it is an awful business and I want no part of it.

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

I think it should all be legal and taxed.

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

This is the dumbest question of all. I can’t change the fight.

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

I wish I hadn’t tattooed an OM on my arm. I am getting it covered up. (with a chocolate bar)

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life, but didn’t when you had the opportunity.

I wish I had gone to bar-tending school when I had the chance. I doubt I would be a bartender now but it would have been fun.

Day 24 → A song you’d “give” to someone in need (title and artist)

My Way by Gary Oldman as Sid Vicious to my grieving friends and family after I die.

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

gumption and pure dumb luck

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Many times (see above depression) When I was 13 (my mom took me to therapy)  when I was alone and 16 when I was married and 20 again when I was feeling alone at 22. As recently as earlier this year. I hit a very deep depression fueled by poor life choices.

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

My kids. Opening a shop. I need to be more than a mom right now.

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

faint. and then deal.

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself.

I would change this thing that I do. I find that lately when I feel a friendship isn’t working I just shut them off. I do not like that and I am working on changing it. I need to give people more of a chance.

Day 30 → A message to your future self/something you have learned that you hope to always remember.

I don’t have anything. I hope that I keep rolling with things but I am pretty sure that future Joi will be like present Joi. Unless I win the lottery then I am going to be rich and snobby.

potato corn chowder

You MUST try this. If you don’t, you are a fool. A FOOL!

4 cups corn (fresh or frozen)

2 1/2 cups soy milk

2  1/2 cups water

1 med onion

2 cloves garlic minced

5 med red potatoes diced

2 stalks celery diced with tops

1tsp smoked paprika

2 T flour

2T seasoning of your choice ( I like Montreal steak seasoning)

2T earth balance

2 veggie bullion cubes

blend 2 cups of corn with soy milk and 1/2 cup of the water until smooth.

melt earth balance over med heat in a heavy bottomed soup pot or dutch oven.

add onion, celery, and garlic and sautee until just soft.

add potatoes and sprinkle with flour.

allow to cook for a few moments to cook out some of the raw flour taste.

add remaining 2 cups of water,bullion, and seasonings.

cook for a few minutes.

add corn soy mix and the rest of the corn.

bring to a boil and then reduce and let simmer for about an hour to an hour and a half.

taste for seasoning (I added another dash or 2 of the smoked paprika)

On the veg front, tomorrow I will bake chocolate chip cookies to soothe my soul. To replace the egg… banana or flax?

1. Nootch. (nutritional yeast) Where? Why? How? Large flake or small flake? Best recipe showcasing it?

2. Making tofu… is it worth the time? Should you invest in equipment?

3. Cashew cream… I keep reading about it and have yet to try it. Does anyone have a fail proof method?

4. What are the ‘must have’ vegan tools?

5. what are the ‘must read’ vegan cookbooks and websites?

Thank you all in advance for your help. And because I have no pictures of food I will leave you with this…

I am pretty beyond tired of explaining over and over again that YES I am getting enough protein.

2. Favorite meal to cook (or time of day to cook)?

I would have to go with dinner on the weekends and breakfast during the week.

3. If you could tell the world one thing about vegans, what would it be?

That they actually have great senses of humor. And are normal regular freaks just like the rest of y’all.

4. Favorite grocery store?

New Seasons. (I love the Happy Valley NS so big and never super crowded)

5. Funniest vegetable?

Artichokes because you get to eat them with your hands or potatoes because they are so versatile.

6. Name 3 items in your freezer without looking.

flax seeds, pecans, and coconut bliss

7. Favorite kitchen utensil/appliance?

Kitchen aid (I am sure if I ever get a VitaMix it will be the favorite)

8. Favorite vegan candy/chocolate?

chick-o-stick baby!

9. First vegan cookbook?

Vegan Lunchbox (thank you Candice!)

10. Name a recipe you’d love to veganize, but haven’t yet.

marshmallows

11. What was your first “wow, I’m such a stereotypical vegan” moment?

I have only been a vegan for a minute but it was the very first time G and I went out to a coffee shop. I had not eaten breakfast yet and when we got there I realized that there was NOTHING I could eat there. Luckily, I had a larabar with me.

12. What is the one vegan staple that everyone seems to love, but you can’t get behind?

Tempeh. I have only had it a few times but I am not a fan thus far.

13. Cookbook you have owned for the longest time?

Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. It was my mother’s.

14. Were you always interested in cooking, or did veganism change the way you saw and interacted with food?

I think I was born loving cooking. When I was a kid, I had a sandbox. Every day I would make steak, lobster, and wedding cake (can you tell I am from Vegas) Now I eek out a little non living baking. Getting there. Getting there.

15. What is sitting on top of your refrigerator?

So much stuff! Some flour and sugar, pitchers, bowls….

16. If you could only read one other vegan blog, what would it be?

It would have to be i eat food. I love her blog!

17. Fondest food memory from your childhood?

Pie. My Aunt Evelyn’s pies to be exact. She made just about every kind of pie you could want every holiday. I was in awe.

18. Vegan guilty pleasure?

Dark chocolate Coconut Bliss  with pecans. yum!

19. Favorite pickled item?

It is a toss-up between okra or spicy green beans.

20. If you were stranded on an island and could only bring 3 foods…what would they be (don’t worry about how you’ll cook them)?

black beans, kale, and potatoes (can I sneak chocolate in on my person?)

Joi’s breakfast method….

If you have been reading this blog at all you notice that I have 2 things for breakfast often. #1 oatmeal and B: chai

Oats and chai

Oats and chai

Oats and chai

This is what I do. I measure 2 cups of water into 2 little pots. One gets a heaping tablespoon of my special chai mix (recipe to follow) and one gets a pinch of salt. When they both come to a boil,  the timer for the chai starts (3min) and 1 cup of oats and 1/2 Tbsp either flax, chia, or hemp seeds are added. After the timer goes off,  I add whatever non dairy milk I am into at the moment (usually soy truth be told) to the chai until it becomes the color I like my chai. (usually the lighter it is the milder it will taste) I also add sweetener to it. Set timer for 3 more minutes. Chop fruit and get out cinnamon and nuts to top oats. when the timer goes off everything is done. I pour the chai into my coffee press, put oats in a bowl with a little agave, cinnamon, fruit (dried or fresh), and nuts (lately either walnuts or pecans)

Joi’s Special Chai Mix:

2 1/2 c black tea

2 Tbsp chipped cinnamon

1 Tbsp dried ginger

1 Tbsp cardamom seeds (not pods)

1/2 Tbsp peppercorns

1 tsp crushed cloves (not ground)

Ok, onto the whys…

Why am I vegan? I am vegan for health reasons. I have bad kidneys and a plant-based diet is better for me. I am not an animal lover. I don’t wish them harm but I am not one to hug a cow and horses freak the shit out of me. I don’t like dogs. Cats are alright and I actively dislike birds. Having said all that, I also hate HATE factory farming. The thought of a chicken being debeaked and thrown into a cage the size of a sheet of paper  or salmon having their faces eaten off by sea lice or anything they do to factory pigs is enough to put me off meat forever.

What are my vegan inspirations? I am inspired by a lot of vegan blogs. I am inspired by the bounty we are afforded up here in the Pacific Northwest.

So, this month I signed up for the Vegan Month of Food. This is my very first time and, as you know, I am not the best blogger on earth. I am going to try to blog everyday and include a couple of book reviews as well as some tasty recipes.

Tonight I just have a little vegan food porn for you…

I tried out this stuffed acorn squash recipe for Thanksgiving. It still needs some tweaking before it is post worthy.

Tomorrow I think I will cover the whys…

Why am I vegan?

What are my vegan inspirations?

Who is my vegan idol?

If you have any whys for me please let er rip!

2 cans black beans rinsed and drained

2 cans diced tomatoes

6 fingerling potatoes roughly chopped (or any that you fancy except russet OH would be good with sweet potato too)

3 carrots roughly chopped

1 cup frozen corn

1 med onion diced

2 cloves garlic minced

olive oil

palm full chili powder

1/4 palm full cumin

Montreal steak seasoning

3 cups water

2 veggie bullion cubes (or omit the water and use 3 c veggie or chicken stock)

lightly coat bottom of a dutch oven or heavy bottomed soup pot with olive oil. add onions and cook until translucent. add garlic and cook until you can smell it. add carrots and potatoes and cook for a couple of minutes. add tomatoes and beans. season and add water and bullion (or stock) add corn and simmer until everything is tender.

serve with tortilla chips, lime wedges, and avocado (and hot sauce if you are me)